Happy.
That’s how I felt very nearly all the time. I can’t begin to tell you what an enjoyable companion Greg was. He has a way of making you feel like the very center of his universe. Everything he does is geared towards pleasing you and enhancing your feelings towards life. Not everyone is capable of this, as I’ve learned from experience. I soaked up Greg’s attention. Basked in it.
Greg’s work Visa came through at last, and he found a job at Discover Card. I think he was grateful to finally have work. Although he’d excelled at being a house hubby, I’m sure he didn’t like the feeling that he wasn’t contributing. Having a pay check roll in each month in addition to my own was exceptionally nice. We began to save up some money.
Though my trailer was a cozy little spot, it soon started to feel a bit cramped. After a few casual peeks online at homes for sale, it occurred to me that our income easily covered projected mortgage costs on many of the cute houses I was seeing up for sale. The adventure of home buying began a short while later. It was stressful at times, but in the end, we found an ADORABLE brick rambler that was perfection in my mind. Sure, it needed some work and small cosmetic touches, but it was a solid little place that we could grow in to. Not a starter home. A real home I could see myself growing old in. It was my haven, and that’s just what I started calling it. My Haven. We received the keys to the house on our first anniversary.
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| Home Sweet Home |
It was so much fun having our own place. Chloe and the kitties were overwhelmed by the changes, but seemed to approve after all was said and done. So much more space. And it was OURS!! We enjoyed putting our own touch on it. I think I painted nearly every wall in that house. Yes, yes. Not one of them went untouched in the end. And everything was so cute and comfy. Ahhh… home.
And what does the average couple do after buying their first place? Why, get a dog of course. And boy, did we ever!! I’d always wanted a pug. I did some research on the breed and once I was certain they were the pup for me, I started stalking the KSL.com classifieds. Then, one day, there they were. A brand new batch of puppies in nearby Payson, Utah. Four of them. Three boys and one girl. I told Greg about the ad and he called the number. The lady said the female was spoken for but that the boys were available. He asked her if we could come see them and she said yes. In hind sight, it probably wasn’t wise to buy from a backyard breeder. Especially one willing to let strangers come to her home to see puppies that were only three days old. But at the time I didn’t realize this was odd. And I wanted my Gus! Yes, I already had the name chosen. For some reason, I’d always wanted to call my pug Gus. It was just a matter of finding the dog to go with the name.
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| Love me, Mommy! |
We drove down to the farm where the woman lived and entered the living room. At first it was just the mother dog that we met. And she was so sweet. Beautiful. I was tempted to just scoop her up and take her instead! But I was soon distracted by the little furry bundles that were carried in for us to examine. Four puppies. All so tiny. Ugly as hell! But so cute in spite of their ugliness. Awwww!! They were too small to really know what they’d be like, personality wise. But the lady told us that the one with the slightly larger head was going to be the biggest of the bunch. That he’d be taller and built a lot more like his daddy (who was also brought in to meet us. Gosh, he was hyper, but cute!) I decided I liked “bigger” so I claimed the largest puppy for my own. My Gus. When I told the gal what his name would be, she smiled and said that the runt of the previous litter was also named Gus. Fancy that! Gus has a brother with the same name. Somewhere here in Utah is another Gus… just smaller in size. How fun would it be to see how they look side by side now that they are all grown up. Gus was born on September 2, 2006. He came home on October 15th. Just a few days shy of his six week birthday. I realize this was early, but the woman who owned his parents had actually stayed in Utah while her husband moved to North Carolina for work. She was supposed to go with him when he left, but since Gus’s mom was so large with puppies, they’d decided to wait until after they were born and on to new homes before she joined him. And so Gus came home while still super tiny. Luckily, we had Chloe (and a short while later, Greg’s Canadian Sheltie, Shelly) to teach him the dos and don’ts of doggy-adulthood. He grew in to the most awesome dog, ever! Really. He’s my best friend. For a while, during my divorce, he was the only reason I had for getting out of bed each morning. It sounds dramatic when I type it out like that, but I think those who have gone through heartbreak will understand exactly what I mean.
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| Stockton: Always curious |
Other animals came along during our time in the Haven as well. Fluffy was a blue/cream tortie kitty that I rescued at the care center where I worked. Her mom was a stray that had decided to have her kittens in the wood pile/junk heap out back. Fluffy was so tiny when I caught her, that I had to bottle feed her for the first while we had her. Eventually she weaned and grew from scrawny fluff-ball into a beautiful cat! Chloe moved on to a new home after she injured her back. A dachshund with a spinal cord injury? I know, who'd have thunk it? My dad built her a little wheelie cart out of a skateboard and I worked with her daily doing physical therapy. She took lots of steroids, too. And in the end, she regained her ability to walk. Alas, her bladder control wasn't what it once was. She needed to be in a place where she could go outside every 5 hours or so. Our work schedule didn't allow us to provide this for her. Luckily, a local rescue group found her a perfect home with a stay-at-home mom (and a doggy door!) Eventually Stockton joined our zoo. He was a small white kitty that my parents’ calico brought into the world. I wanted him from the start. My parents resisted at first, but finally decided to let me take him since they knew I’d provide a good home. As he matured, more and more Siamese markings came out in his fur. By the time he reached adulthood, he was unrecognizable as the small kitten I’d first seen. But he sure was sweet. And he LOVED Gus. Followed him around, always rubbing on him. Gus wasn’t as big of a fan of the cat. He liked him in general, but the extra attention appeared to be annoying. It was fun to watch them.
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| Sweet babies |
When Shelly finally passed on, we brought Bo, a young boxer, into the mix. And a short while later, Hunny joined the family as well. Hunny was a rescue- a female pug. She was beautiful. Pug perfection as far as looks go. Gus was still my guy, though. He decided early on that I was the bomb diggity and I returned the sentiment. It started to feel overwhelming, with us also having turtles, snakes, rats, mice, etc… so we found Fluffy a new home. Eventually we scaled down to just having the three cats (Gizmo, Basil, Stockton), three dogs (Gus, Bo, Hunny), my rats/mice, and Greg’s 50 gallon fish tank. Or was it 39 gallons? Meh, regardless, it was big and pretty!
Of course real life plugged along amongst all the coming and goings of our critters. Greg eventually left Discover Card and began working at a local medical laboratory. The Lab is a great company so we were thrilled to get him in the door. He decided that he wanted to get his Lab Tech degree so he went back to school, too. The plan was that once he completed his education, it would only take a year or two for us to pay off all of our debt. And financially we’d be fine in the meantime. It was nice to have goals for our future.
Sometimes things were hard. We’d wanted to start a family right after our wedding, but it turned out this wasn’t going to be an easy option for us. The doctors I went to see ran lots of tests (I can’t tell you how many times I braved my biggest fear, the needle!!) and had me take lots of drugs that were supposed to promote much egg releasing. Nothing! My body just wouldn’t give up its eggs. Nothing else seemed wrong, based on the exams that were done, so I was referred to a fertility specialist. I never went. We couldn’t afford it at that point. I decided it was something we could consider once Greg’s schooling was done and our debt was resolved. In the mean time, we were happy, so it didn’t matter. I focused my maternal instincts on my furry babies instead. Oh, how I loved them. Each dog went through training classes and was spoiled beyond belief. And my kitties were darlings as well. And Greg and I had a lot of fun together even without children around to keep things interesting. He was a darling husband. Always doing unexpected, quirky things. It felt like we were newly-weds, even years and years after our wedding.
More change. Greg’s oldest brother, Mark, married about a year after we did. And about five minutes later, he and Sarah were expecting their first child. My sister went off to college. My brother fell in love. Mark and Sarah had a second beautiful baby. And most dramatically, Greg’s other brother, Blair announced that he was finally in touch with his true self and was actually a woman trapped in a man’s body. That was a bizarre chain of events, but since Blair, now Jordenne, was family, we supported her with all we could offer. After all, even if you don’t understand something, it doesn’t mean you can't show unconditional love.
The economy claimed one job at the care center where I worked. Mine. It broke my heart, at first, but in the end it was a good thing. I had needed to get away from that work environment for quite a while and it took them asking me to leave before I could manage it. Since my mother and Greg were already there, applying at the Lab seemed like a no brainer. And I was hired right away, which was great. (Being HR Manager and having a lot of interview experience pays off, ya know!) It didn’t take long for me to get on the same schedule as my husband and we began the routine of being together day and night. And still we enjoyed life. Never a fight. Always laughter. I was still very happy.
The lone problem in our relationship was that from the start, Greg had taken charge of the finances. Since he was a house hubby at first, it made sense that he would snag the mail each day and take care of the bills while I was working. And after he went back to work, we kept the same routine since it seemed to make him happy. Sometimes I worried about money. But each time I asked, he’d say “We are fine.” Not just say it casually, but emphasize it as if I was really worrying over nothing. If I ever pressed the issue, he’d say “Look at me. In the eye. We. Are. FINE!”. And once in a while he’d show me our bank statement which showed a comfortable balance.
So I tried not to worry about it. After all, I trusted him implicitly. And I didn’t want to create a problem if there really wasn’t one. After all, so many marriages are ruined because of money. I didn’t want to risk my wonderful life over what felt like paranoia.
I’ve since learned that my instincts are more amazing than I ever realized.